Facing Fear on and off the Mat

This past week, my yoga practice has taken a magic step forward. On monday, I tried to go into a backbend from standing. I crashed on my head the first couple of times, until I integrated that I needed to keep my arms strong, and then, it just clicked. It felt very easy. I had only tried with someone helping me before, but it’s such a great feeling to do it on my own. This started an interesting thought process for me. I have absolutely no fear of backbends. I am ready to explore, push my limits, try new things. I just feel comfortable and strong, and I really enjoy the feeling of being in a backbend. Starting from my feet could seem scary, and it was a little at first, but I had no hesitation about facing this fear, and it was easily overcome. I have had the opposite experience with headstands and handstands. Now, I can do a headstand in the middle of room. I have finally managed to find my balance. But I still feel some fear and tension. And as you know, I have been struggling with handstands too. I know my body can do it. So, it made me wonder what kind of emotions I associate with backbends and handstands that make me have such different experiences. One of my friends suggested that going into a backbend from standing means starting from a very grounded posture, standing on my feet. It’s familiar and safe, and this gives me the strength to go for it. It’s quite a different story for handstands. And so, I started to think about it all, and I would be curious to know what you think.
The amazing thing is that I haven’t found the answer yet, but on friday, for the first time, I managed to kick up to handstand at the wall. That morning, I just set my mind on facing my fears and doing it. It took many many times kicking up. But with each time, I could feel it getting closer. I just knew it was going to happen. I could feel my handstand coming to life, becoming a reality. And it happened. It was such an amazing feeling, not just standing on my hands, but finally having overcome something that I have been dreading and struggling with for so long. It made me feel like I can do anything now!! It was something that I saw as a huge mountain that I had to climb, a huge obstacle. And now that I am on top of the mountain, this obstacle doesn’t look so big anymore. I will keep this experience in mind each time I am faced with an obstacle that seems too big for me. I will remind myself that the obstacles are only as big as we make them, because when we are on the other side, they really don’t look so big anymore. It’s the idea we have of something that’s scary, not the thing itself….

Reposted with permission from:

Anne Devismes, 2010 Yoga with Laurel Teacher Traininee (200 hr)

2 Responses to “Facing Fear on and off the Mat”

  1. Jennifer Salamon, 2010 Yoga with Laurel Teacher Trainee (200 hr.) on

    Until just recently, I have always been a runner. I have run individually four or five days a week for the last fifteen years, averaging twenty miles a week. In addition, I have completed several half-marathons.

    I thoroughly enjoyed running. Running was my true form of stress relief. A good, hard run enabled me to completely clear my head, feel good about myself, and enjoy the day. If I was unable to complete a good run, I found myself to become irritable and grouchy.

    Approximately 2 years ago, I injured my left hamstring muscles. It was a deep injury, and I had no choice but to take some time off from running. But because I desperately needed my stress relief, I took only two weeks off and started back. I significantly cut down my milage, and I did fairly well. At this time though, I was not even close to being completely healed. Even though I knew I was most likely going to re-injure myself, I kept running, despite the discomfort in my left hamstring, hoping the pain would just magically disappear one day.

    Eventually, my hamstring healed. However, every time I ran on my injured left leg, my body was compensating. My right side endured most of the stress of the running as I inadvertently put less pressure on my left side.

    Naturally, I developed another injury. My right knee was injured at that point, and has not been healthy for the last two years. I decided to completely stop running.

    Turning to a different form of exercise to help clear my mind, I began fully focusing on yoga. As I increased my practice to four or five days a week, it was extremely difficult for me to properly do two of the more basic poses, Warrior I and Warrior II. It did not matter if my right leg was positioned back or forward in the lunge. These positions were very uncomfortable and it was difficult for me to move in and out of these poses with any degree of ease.

    It was not until the July Yoga Teacher Training with Laurel (200 hr) that I recognized that I was not aligning myself correctly in either the Warrior I or Warrior II poses. My instructor, without knowing about my injury, made two simple suggestions that have eased my pain tremendously. As I was in the Warrior I pose, she asked me to try and push the heel and pinky toe of the rear leg into the ground, using my inner thigh muscles to try and pull the arch of the foot slightly off the ground. At the same time, she instructed me to do the same with the leg that was positioned forward in the lunge. Finally, in that position, she suggested I simultaneously attempt to draw in from, or contract, the inner thigh muscles in both legs. This immediately relieved the discomfort in my right knee.

    Since that day, I have been vigilant about the alignment techniques of contraction and expansion. Because of Laurel’s detailed instruction, I am now able to easily move into and out of the Warrior I and Warrior II postures with absolutely no discomfort. In addition, not only did I refine these basic yoga poses, but I am almost completely pain free in performing them, as well as in everyday life. The power of yoga is truly amazing.

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